A Noodle Hockey Game For The Ages

The American Hockey League is where the National Hockey League’s stars of tomorrow are born. Only on the rarest of occasions do these talented young men hear the humbling phrase “keep your day job.” However, when five Lake Erie Monsters were challenged to a game of noodle hockey at the St. Mary of the Woods Assisted Living Community in Avon, Ohio, on a snowy January afternoon, the only frightening sight was the state of their collective egos when the match was over.

In front of a raucous capacity crowd, the St. Mary of the Woods Battling Beagles took on Monsters players T.J. Galiardi, Aaron MacKenzie, Chris Mueller, Derek Peltier and Andrew Sarauer in a noodle hockey match that will live in infamy. The Beagles entered the game with a flawless record and did not intend to let a group of Monsters scare them into defeat.

Sitting in two rows of five, face-to-face and using styrofoam water noodles as hockey sticks, the Monsters and Beagles faced off in a battle of strength, wit and will that rewarded the first team to knock a plastic beach ball through the legs of a walker 10 times with victory.

The Beagles, led by their 101-year-old fearless captain, Helena "The Hurricane," found the scoreboard early and often as the Monsters designated goaltender, 20- year-old center Galiardi, was clearly overmatched and overpowered from the start. After allowing five unanswered goals in under five minutes, the Monsters elected to remove a visibly distraught Galiardi from goal and replaced him with defenseman Derek Peltier.

When Peltier sat down across from Helena and attempted to say “hello,” the Beagles captain repaid the favor by striking Peltier on the head with her noodle, thus exuding the confidence of a proven champion in the midst of battle.

While the Monsters change of strategy earned them a few lucky goals, the Beagles potent attack proved to be more than the Monsters could withstand as St. Mary of the Woods emerged victorious, 10-5.

Following the game, the Monsters were both humbled and speechless. They applauded their superior foes as the Beagles exited to a chorus of cheers under a “noodle arch” formed by the Monsters players. When Monsters broadcaster, John Michael, and the bright lights of the QTV cameras approached her, Helena, the game’s unanimous MVP, humbly answered, “it was fun,” when asked about the Beagles one-sided victory.

Afterward, both teams convened to pose for pictures together and congratulate one another. The event was a rousing success, enjoyed by all in attendance, and served as a poignant reminder to the Monsters that when it comes to noodle hockey, it would be in their best interests to “keep their day jobs.”

In related events…the Monsters removed Galiardi from their noodle hockey roster immediately following the game as a result of what they termed, “an embarrassing display of noodle hockey goaltending and skill.”

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